Added: Criselda Wharton - Date: 15.04.2022 20:52 - Views: 23194 - Clicks: 6380
Skip ! Quite literally, slow sex is all about slowing down the action with your partner so you can be more present and mindful of sensation, with the goal of an overall more pleasurable experience.
Slow sex has its roots in tantra and orgasmic meditation, but a common understanding of the term is really just being more connected to yourself and your partner during sex. Here to tell you all about it are Rena McDanielsex therapist and certified sexologist, and Vanessa Marin, sex therapist.
Marin thinks of slow sex as an antidote to the overworked, frenzied lives so many of us live. And I think a lot of us approach sex in that same way. So giving yourself more time to relax from a purely logistical standpoint is crucial. This is especially true for women, simply because we take longer to climax. Men, for perspective, take about four minutes. The benefits to taking the time to let your body become fully aroused and lubricated are staggering.
So that means more arousal, better orgasms, yummier sensations, more sensitive body parts, more connection to your own body and to your partner's body. Slow sex is particularly beneficial for those who habitually have trouble reaching orgasm. Because the goal of slow sex is more about feeling good than climaxing, practitioners are urged to focus on how each touch and gesture makes them feel instead. For those who stress about their inability to orgasm, thinking of sex in this way can take a lot of the pressure off and actually make it easier to come.
How do you do it? Marin says the first step is to get familiar with the concept of mindfulness outside of the bedroom before getting down with a partner. She recommends meditation apps like Hepace, which guide you through the basics of centering your thoughts and getting in touch with your breath and body. Once you feel ready to give it a try in the sheets, there are a few strategies you can employ. Another route, per McDaniel, is to actively employ all five senses. While sight and taste might come more naturally, think about the under-utilized ways to experience other sensations.
Can you focus on the sounds in the room that might turn you on? Do you have any body-safe kitchen utensils you can pop in the fridge to play with temperature and texture on your skin? Take your time and go through each one, taking note of what feels the best to you.
Both Marin and McDaniel are quick to note that the last thing you should do is beat yourself up about it if you feel your mind wandering during slow sex. And as an old meditation standby, return to your breath, feeling the rhythm of your chest moving as you inhale and exhale. You can embrace the principles of being more present and not rushing to orgasm even if you only have fifteen minutes to spare.
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